For Families How to support siblings when you have a baby in the NICU/SCN
Welcoming a new baby into the world, especially when they need intensive or special care in the neonatal unit, can be an incredibly challenging time for the whole family, especially for siblings.
It’s not uncommon for siblings to feel overwhelmed and scared about what the future holds for their new sibling and their family dynamic.
Feelings of stress and insecurity can play out as a change in their behaviour as they navigate the uncertainty and adjustment.
As a result, you might notice: –
• Behavioural challenges: Siblings may act out, withdraw or seek extra attention due to feelings of stress and uncertainty.
• Regression: Siblings may revert to previous developmental stages like bedwetting or thumb-sucking.
• Anxiety: Siblings may experience heightened anxiety and worry affecting their sleep, focus and mood.
• Guilt: Siblings may experience feelings of guilt about having their own needs met while their parents are focused on their newborn sibling’s care.
• Difficulty with transitions: Changes in routines or family dynamics can lead to resistance or emotional outbursts from siblings.
Addressing these behaviours with love, understanding and support is crucial for in helping siblings cope during this challenging time. To assist you, we have put together the following tips:
• Encourage your child to share any feelings they have about their sibling being in the NICU/SCN. Let them know it’s okay to talk about their new sibling and that you’re there to listen and support them.
• Regardless of their age, reassure them that their new baby brother/sister being in the NICU/SCN is not their fault. Children’s imaginations can sometimes lead them to believe otherwise so it’s important to reaffirm that they are not responsible in any way.
• If the neonatal unit allows children to visit, it is important that you prepare them for what the environment will look like. Take time to describe what they might hear, smell, and see. Show photos or a video to help prepare them for what they can expect. Plan the length of the visit according to the child’s age and attention span.
• Explain to your child (in an age-appropriate manner) what’s happening with their new sibling’s health and progress. Explain who their sibling’s care team is and what they do as well as how the machines, IV’s and medicines are helping their baby brother or sister. Reassure them with photos and regular updates.
• Involve your child in baby’s care with activities like making cards to put up in the nursery, or packing and bringing items to the hospital. Get them to read or sing to baby cotside or record a video of them reading or singing to play to baby. Giving siblings a “job” can make them feel more involved and connected to baby and help grow the sibling bond.
• Try to keep to normal routines and activities as much as possible to provide stability for your child during this uncertain time.
• Help your child engage in activities they enjoy, distracting them from worrying about their baby sibling, whether it’s playing games, going for walks, visiting extended family and friends or watching movies together.
• Reassure your child that it’s okay to feel a range of emotions and that it’s natural to worry about their baby sibling. Let them know that their feelings are valid and normal.
Navigating the NICU while juggling the needs of another child/ren at home can feel overwhelming. It’s normal to feel torn between being with your baby in hospital and being present for your other child/ren. Remember to give yourself permission to be fully present wherever you are and prioritise self-care so you can better support your family.
Taking a step back and focusing on loving your children can be immensely reassuring during this challenging time. Embrace each moment with them, making them feel safe, important, loved and supported. Don’t hesitate to seek support from family, friends or healthcare professionals if needed.
